The trailer for the adaptation of the mega-bestselling 2018 psychological thriller Verity by Colleen Hoover just dropped yesterday. Already, it’s amassed more than 5 million views on YouTube, and is ranked #6 in the movies category for the site’s trending chart.

I watched the trailer and have thoughts:

1. First things first: I have to admit that I have not read anything by Big Hoove, but I am a part of the generation that watched Lifetime movies and Jerry Springer when I was home sick from school. In other words, I was born in messy TV, molded by it.
2. Just looking at the thumbnail before I press play: Is that the Princess of Genovia (Anne Hathaway for the uncultured)? In another big adaptation?? We are truly feasting this year.
3. First scene: Okay, Dakota! Looking very mysterious and serious. It’s giving ac-TOR.
4. I feel like I’ve seen this aerial view of a winding road in mystery/thrillers a million times…
5. Josh Hartnett: “You must have questions.” Why yes, yes I do, Josh.
6. That look red-lipped Anne gave the camera, plus the shot of the machinery, kind of makes me think of…things. Am I too freaked out after that Wicker trailer, or is this about to be 50 Shades of Anne?
7. Welp, never mind, Anne’s character is bed-bound…or is she?
8. She’s not! She turned her head! I know this is relevant because it gagged Dakota Johnson’s character: she dropped her mug and slid down the wall!
   • (I didn’t realize Anne’s character was supposed to be fully paralyzed until this moment.)
9. Such suspenseful music while laying out writing notes (it be like that).
10. “This is my confession”: Spill the tea, sis.
11. Okay, now I have that Kylie Minogue song stuck in my head.
12. Predictably, Dakota’s character (Lowen) starts an affair with Anne Hathaway’s character’s husband (Josh Hartnett/Jeremy). This is all while she suspects sister girl is faking the funk about being paralyzed. (So y’all are doing the do, and Anne/Verity is just running around in the dark when y’all aren’t looking? Couldn’t be me.)
13. In one of the scenes, she’s kissing Anne! And there are bite marks in the wood. Maybe this is 50 Shades of Anne.
14. Conclusion: It looks extra as hell and has a good cast, so I’d watch it. I’m sure there is a twist in the movie that contradicts what’s shown in the trailer (predicting it now that the husband is more involved than he appears to be).

The film is out in theaters October 2nd.