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The Celebrity Traitors final – LIVE

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Maybe not. Blunt is back on the trail of Maya and Kenny. Maya has exhausted herself defending this, and she hasn’t done a very good job. This might be curtains for her.

And now Leigh-Anne gets to formally unleash her bananas Romesh The Traitor theory. Weirdly, it catches fire a little bit. James Blunt calls the roundtable to a halt to fully interrogate the theory. And then Bash joins in, doing some Sherlock-level calculations about how Romesh would definitely murder Rob if he was a traitor. Is this really the wormhole we’re going down?

Now it turns to Leigh-Anne, and the ongoing saga of That Time She Shook Her Hips Around With Miranda Just For Fun And Everyone Thought It Was A Symptom Of Her Guilt. She doesn’t formulate a very convincing argument in her defence, which is mad because I know she’s a faithful.

Maya starts, admitting that she’s been playing the game wrong by focusing on friendship rather than traitor-finding. She has invented an entire backstory to get her out of the Ross Kemp situation.

But Romesh isn’t having it, because he says that Maya was more stressed than James Acaster about being connected to the murder, and James Acaster was literally so stressed that they had to stop filming.

The banished player cannot reveal their true identity this time, remember.

Time for the final roundtable. It will be a lot less fun without Michael Sheen to roar and point and stomp, but beggars can’t be choosers.

And then there’s Leigh-Anne. Everyone sort of suspects that she’s a traitor, plus she is now convinced that Romesh is a traitor, which is something that a traitor would do.

Romesh is on the fence about Maya too, but he needs to hear her explain her role in Ross Kemp’s murder before he can. Given that she tried this last night and ended up looking like the most guilty person of all time, that isn’t likely to happen.

Back at the castle, Romesh and Maya realise that they’ve never spoken, while Bash and Blunt circle around Kenny, Maya and Leigh-Anne. Bash wants to rule out Kenny, though, because Kenny is his friend.

But Romesh enjoyed the tasked, and everyone is very proud of Bash for all the jumping and swimming he did. They have earned £83,000 for their chosen charities. And, hey, imagine being the chosen charity of Richard E Grant and James Acaster. This must have been a fun series for them.

In the last six minutes, lots of people jumped out of helicopters, a bunch of stuff exploded, my internet briefly gave up and I had a heart attack.

Oh, and also they need to answer questions about the game to get the thing. This is really just a supercut of all the other Traitors missions, isn’t it? Maybe the whole thing will conclude with Celia Imrie bursting in and farting all over everyone.

Now Claudia looks at the camera and reveals a secret. Getting the thing from a thing this time will be harder than usual, because the thing has a codeword on it, and also the thing they need to get it from is at the bottom of an 80ft rope.

Blunt loves helicopters and wanted to be in the helicopter, but he nobly decides that the young people who have never been in a helicopter deserve to love helicopters as much as he does. What a gent he is.

Mission time. There are some big Lego bricks and a Keep Out sign. The gold is hidden in some bunkers. The contestants have to find the bunkers and open them… with dynamite! This almost certainly isn’t going to be real dynamite, because that seems like a health and safety nightmare. Besides, if this lot gets exploded to death, who’s going to present all the podcasts in the world?

Blunt, on the other hand, has got it all figured out. He all but knows who the traitors are, and he wants to avenge Sheen’s death by collaring them once and for all.

Bash, dressed as Bugsy Malone, declares his strategy for the final. It is to keep his friends close and his enemies closer. What does that mean? I assume nothing.

Gossip time. Kenny and Leigh-Anne tell each other that the other one is definitely a faithful. And now, with all the extra space opened up by the lack of bigger personalities, Leigh-Anne gets her time to shine. She uses this time to state that Romesh (the only contestant to have been proven to be a faithful by sheer geographic location) is definitely a traitor.

Claudia comes in and congratulates everyone. Six contestants left, and they are going to face the mission of all missions. It will be a blast, says Claudia. I think this means they’re about to get a thing from a thing while another thing explodes in the background.

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