Lourd Leger likes it! He really likes it!

Japan has a certain class of light energy drinks that don’t contain nearly as much caffeine as their Western counterparts and instead focus on being fortified with things like vitamin C, ginseng extract, and royal jelly to enhance alertness and overall mood. One popular brand like this is Dodekamin, a fruity little number with just the right amount of pep to get you through the day.

▼ A lucky bottle of Dodekamin Strong bought by our reporter next to a lucky cat

Dodekamin originally came out in 2004 and did a really fine job of keeping our minds sharp. However, climate change has made each year hotter and more physically taxing than the one before. It’s enough to wonder if Dodekamin, or the Dodekamin Strong pictured above, even has what it takes to overcome this soul-crushing heat anymore.

Perhaps they were wondering that same thing, because this month they will release The Strongest Dodekamin I Ever Thought Of for around 194 yen. The name probably sounds really strange, so let’s break that down first.

Calling something “the strongest… I ever thought of” (“boku no kangaeta saikyo no“) is a throwback phrase to childhood days when trying to come up with the ultimate character by giving it outlandish superpowers and strength ratings. When used as an adult it’s a tongue-in-cheek reference suggesting the thing is incredibly superpowered but also incredibly illogical and made with a certain childlike naivety.

▼ “The Strongest Unpaid Bill Notice I Ever Thought Of”

ぼくのかんがえたさいきょうの督促状 pic.twitter.com/cr1TL8bm5h

Now that the name is out of the way, you might be asking, “So, who’s that super-cool dragon on the bottle?” Well, I’m glad I assumed you asked because this is none other than the black dragon Lourd Leger, the guardian deity of the Sky Empire and ruler of gravity itself, so you know he’s steadily holding it down.

Lourd Leger’s name is a combination of French words for “heavy” and “light,” showing you how classy he is and how utterly he controls the laws of gravity, making him the most powerful of the four elemental dragons of his realm. He was summoned to our reality because only a creature of such raw power could make boys want to learn how to sew.

Only a few years before Dodekamin arrived on the scene, Lourd Leger was the face of a million-unit series of sewing kits aimed at young boys taking kome ec at school. As a result, this majestic beast had earned the earthly title of “Home Economics Dragon” (Kateika no Dragon), and the young lads who grew up with his sewing kits still look up to him today. He truly is the strongest dragon anyone has ever thought of.

▼ Look at him just grabbing that old Dodekamin label, all like “Rahhh! Take that, you puny logo! You are not the strongest I ever thought of!” He so rad…

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to talk about the drink. It’s got twice as much ginseng extract, royal jelly, caffeine, and guarana with 20 percent more vitamin C and some added salt to help combat heatstroke in these punishingly hot days.

With all these crazy dragons and guarana flying around, it’s easy to be intimidated by The Strongest Dodekamin I Ever Thought Of. It’s certainly not for everyone, but those willing to take on the elixir of Lourd Leger may do so nationwide from 15 July.

Source: PR Times
Top image: PR Times
Insert images: SoraNews24, PR Times
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