Neetu recalled the time after Rishi’s passing and said, “When Rishi Kapoor passed away, they said go to a therapist. I was really down. I spoke to a therapist and I was like, ‘What am I even doing? Until I am not strong, what is a therapist going to say? They will ask to meditate, and do this and that. It’s nonsense.”

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Neetu Kapoor was a nervous wreck on the set of Jug Jugg Jeeyo

Neetu Kapoor said that at this point, she immersed herself in her work and got back to doing movies. “So what I did was, I just started working. He passed away and I did Jug Jugg Jeeyo; I went for Indian Idol, just to get the confidence back,” she said and recalled the backlash she received at the time. “I was in such a bad state and it’s so hurtful when people used to say that he passed away and she jumped into acting. That was horrible, but they don’t know why I did it.”

Neetu recalled how producer Karan Johar asked her to become a part of Jug Jugg Jeeyo and while she jumped on the opportunity, she would shiver every time she had to face the camera. “I was a nervous wreck when I was doing Jug Jugg Jeeyo. Before every shot, I would shiver. I have done some 70-80 movies in my life but now, my strength was not there. To go on a set alone, without my husband, I had nobody. So it was absolutely nerve-wracking but I did that, and it helped me. I went out, I did some shows and it made me so much stronger,” she said. Neetu said that now she is not seeking money or fame, but she continues to do movies to keep herself busy.

Rishi Kapoor and Neetu Kapoor were married for 40 years. (Photo: Express Archives)

‘I could not sleep without drinking’

Rishi Kapoor passed away in April 2020, when lockdown was in place during the first wave of the pandemic, and Neetu Kapoor recalled that in the initial weeks, she could not sleep. And that’s when she started relying on alcohol to cope up. “When he passed away, for a month or maybe 2-3 months, I could not sleep and I got into drinking. I used to start drinking and then I could not sleep without drinking,” she said.

Neetu said that because of the health-conscious lifestyle that she had followed until that point in her life, she “didn’t like myself like that.” “I was scared of being inside the house. I just wanted to numb my head and go to sleep. I didn’t like myself,” she said. Neetu recalled calling her doctor and asking for help because she knew that this was not okay.

“I called my doctor and I said, ‘This is what is going on with me. I need help. I don’t like it. I am not made like that. I am so health-conscious. I like my exercise,’” she shared and added that her doctor came up with a plan that would require giving Neetu an injectable sedative every night. “So my doctor would come, she would inject me and put me to sleep and sit there till the time I had not gone to sleep,” she said. Neetu shared that this went on for 10 days, after which, she asked her doctor to stop as she declared, “I am good now. I don’t think I need this and I can move on and that was it.”

Rishi Kapoor’s relationship with alcohol

Rishi Kapoor was quite liberal with his own drinking habits and that caused a lot of strain in his marriage with Neetu Kapoor. It also affected his relationship with his son Ranbir Kapoor. Madhu Jain’s book, The Kapoors: The First Family of Indian Cinema, quotes Neetu as saying that during her rough patches with Rishi, it was Ranbir who came to her rescue. Neetu said that Ranbir “did tick his father off a couple of times when Chintu (Rishi) got so high that he smashed everything in sight.” The next day, Rishi wouldn’t remember anything, and Ranbir would be left in the lurch. “I felt so sorry for poor Ranbir, who hated having to confront an innocent-faced father who just stared back in complete amnesia,” she said.

Rishi had seen similar incidents in his home when he was growing up with father Raj Kapoor as he too, was quite liberal with his drinks. In his memoir Khullam Khulla, Rishi wrote, “Every day I would wonder what mood or condition he would turn up in at night, dreading the thought of him being drunk and picking a fight with my mother. For a very long time I remained terrified of my father, and I am convinced that this fear sprang from those early drunken scenes. Although I was just a little boy then, I made a promise to myself that, when I grew up, I would never drink and frighten my kids like that.”

Disclaimer: This article discusses personal experiences with grief, mental health struggles, and the use of alcohol to cope with emotional distress. The content is intended for informational and storytelling purposes and should not be seen as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you or someone you know is struggling with grief, addiction, or mental health challenges, please reach out to a qualified healthcare provider or a mental health professional immediately.